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Big Brother: ThunderClan Season 2/Week Thirteen
Authour's Note This episode is dedicated to Darky, and her beloved dog, Twinky. Darky, I know what it feels like to lose your greatest friend, and I know this won't help to ease the pain, but it's the least I can do. WEEK THIRTEEN, NOMINATIONS Rule: Tonight, all nominations points are worth double their value. Jayfeather can't be nominated. Superpower Holder: Scarletpaw (outside after Shoalfoot's eviction) Scarletpaw: WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!? WHY IS SHOALFOOT GONE!? Cinderpelt: Because she received the most votes, halfwit. Scarletpaw: IT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION! (punches) Sorreltail: Nawwww, poor Scarlet! D: Scarletpaw: If any of you need me, I'll be in my depression pod! (runs towards the depression pod) Willowpelt: BAAAAAAAAAAA! I'M A SHEEP! Darkstripe: Don't let her get in to the depression pod! She'll never come out! Brightheart: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! (runs to guard depression pod) (in the bedroom) (Brightheart is guarding the depression pod) Scarletpaw: (slaps Brightheart) Let me in! Brightheart: (gasp) LE SLAP! (slaps) Sorreltail: No, if we let you in, you'll never go out! Scarletpaw: I don't care! Jayfeather: Gru.... grumpeh grumpeh grumpeteh grump! Brightheart: Jayfeather's right! If you cut yourself off from the house, we'll be forced to nominate! Scarletpaw: Do it! I want to be evicted so I can see Shoalfoot again! Everyone: (gasp) Darkstripe: Scarletpaw, we are not letting you in the depression pod. Scarletpaw: Don't make me run you over with a bulldozer! Cinderpelt: Do it then, run us over with a- (Scarletpaw runs over everyone with a bulldozer and jumps in to the depression chamber) Cinderpelt: Bulldozer. Big Brother: All housemates, to the lounge. (Everyone but Scarletpaw goes to the lounge) Big Brother: Scarletpaw, that means you too. Scarletpaw: I'm not leaving! I'm depressed! Big Brother: (sigh) Fine. (throws Scarletpaw's laptop in the depression pod) I'll just have to Skype you. What's your Skype name? Scarletpaw: scarletthesconelover71 Big Brother: Okay, I'll add you on Skype. (adds Scarletpaw) Sent the request. Scarletpaw: Accepted. (in the lounge) Big Brother: Housemates, it's time to nominate. Tonight, there are two rules: Once again, Jayfeather cannot be nominated as he has a free pass to the final 5. Cinderpelt: (falls to knees) WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!? Big Brother: And also, nomination points are worth DOUBLE their value! That means you have 10 points to nominate 2 cats tonight! Everyone: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! Big Brother: Now, as you know, Shoalfoot was evicted last night- Scarletpaw: STOP REMINDING ME! (wails) Big Brother: Anyway, she has a superpower to give out. So here she is. (Shoalfoot appears via video link) Shoalfoot: Hi guys- (gasp) WHERE IS SCARLETPAW!? D: Scarletpaw: Here! I'm hearing all this through Skype! Shoalfoot: Why aren't you in the lounge? D: Scarletpaw: Because ever since you left, I got depressed and am in the depression pod! D: Shoalfoot: But... But I gave you the superpower! D: Scarletpaw: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! I'm still depressed though. Big Brother: Every cat, go to the nominations room. Scarletpaw, when everyone's gone, I'll tell you what your superpower is. (everyone leaves to the nominations room) Big Brother: Okay, Scarletpaw, your power is: You can choose one cat to have normal value nomination points. That means they'll only have 5 points to nominate with tonight. Scarletpaw: Um... Well, Cinderpelt then. Big Brother: Done. Now, I'm taking the computer to the nominations room so you aren't lonely. Scarletpaw: Okay. (in the nominations room) Big Brother: Hm... Willowpelt will nominate first. Willowpelt, to the chamber. (Willowpelt speeds in) Willowpelt: BLUE, RED, GREEN, FACE! HAVE A KITTEN DRESSED IN LACE! Big Brother: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Nominate now! Remember you have 10 points tonight! Willowpelt: 9 POINTS TO DARKSTRIPE BECAUSE HE'S ANNOYING AND HE'S THE DARKEST STRIPE TO EVER STRIPE! Big Brother: And I am the biggest Brother to ever accept. You have one point left. Willowpelt: FOR 1 POINT I NOMINATE BRIGHTHEART FOR BEING THE... Big Brother: Let me guess: "The brightest heart to ever heart?" Willowpelt: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (bolts out of the chamber) Big Brother: Guess I have to accept then. Table: DARKSTRIPE 9 BRIGHTHEART 1 Cinderpelt 0 Scarletpaw 0 Sorreltail 0 Willowpelt 0 Jayfeather 0 Big Brother: Scarletpaw, I'm going to take the laptop in to the chamber so you can nominate. (brings laptop in to chamber) Nominate now. Scarletpaw: 5 to CINDERPELT for not caring about Shoalfoot's eviction. Big Brother: Accepted. You have 5 points left. Scarletpaw: And 5 to DARKSTRIPE for trying to stop me from entering the depression pod. Big Brother: Accepted. Table: DARKSTRIPE 14 CINDERPELT 5 BRIGHTHEART 1 Scarletpaw 0 Sorreltail 0 Willowpelt 0 Jayfeather 0 Big Brother: Cinderpelt, to the chamber. (a reminder that Cinderpelt has FIVE points to nominate with, not ten.) (Cinderpelt enters) Big Brother: Cinderpelt, nominate now. Cinderpelt: For 8 points I nominate SCARLETPAW. ME HATETH HER SO MUCHLY! Big Brother: Accepted. You have 2 points left. Cinderpelt: 2 to WILLOWPELT, because I don't trust her. I think she's forming an alliance with Scarletpaw. Big Brother: (facepalm) You've got to be kidding me... Cinderpelt: I'm serious! Big Brother: Fine. Accepted. (Note: Scarletpaw will have 4 points added to her tally, and Willowpelt one.) Table: DARKSTRIPE 14 CINDERPELT 5 SCARLETPAW 4 Brightheart 1 Willowpelt 1 Sorreltail 0 Jayfeather 0 Big Brother: Darkstripe, to the chamber. (Darkstripe enters) Big Brother: Nominate now. Darkstripe: For 7 points I nominate SORRELTAIL because I hate her and because she has an alliance, which is dangerous at this time in the game. Big Brother: Accepted. You have 3 points left. Darkstripe: For 3 points I nominate WILLOWPELT because she's in an alliance with Sorreltail. Big Brother: Accepted. Table: DARKSTRIPE 14 SORRELTAIL 7 CINDERPELT 5 Scarletpaw 4 Willowpelt 4 Brightheart 1 Jayfeather 0 Big Brother: Jayfeather, to the chamber. (Jayfeather enters) Big Brother: Jayfeather, nominate now. Jayfeather: Grumpeteh grumpus grumpsauce de grumpeteh grumpeteh grump grump. Grumpy grumpus grump. Grumpeh grump. Big Brother: For 7 points you nominate BRIGHTHEART because she's a threat? Jayfeather: (nods) Big Brother: Accepted. You have 3 points left. Jayfeather: Grumpeh grumpeteh grump. De grumpus grump, grumpehteh a la grump. Big Brother: 3 to WILLOWPELT because she's insane? Jayfeather: (nods) Big Brother: Accepted. Why didn't you nominate Cinderpelt? Jayfeather: Grumpeteh grumpus grump. Big Brother: You want to beat her in the final two, I see. Table: DARKSTRIPE 14 BRIGHTHEART 8 SORRELTAIL 7 WILLOWPELT 7 Cinderpelt 5 Scarletpaw 4 Jayfeather 0 Big Brother: Sorreltail, to the chamber. (Sorreltail enters) Big Brother: Sorreltail, nominate- Sorreltail: 9 to DARKSTRIPE! Big Brother: Far out, that was quick. Accepted. You have 1 point left. Sorreltail: 1 point to SCARLETPAW becaause she's depressed and I think she wants to go home. Big Brother: Accepted. Table: DARKSTRIPE 23 BRIGHTHEART 8 SORRELTAIL 7 WILLOWPELT 7 Cinderpelt 5 Scarletpaw 5 Jayfeather 0 Big Brother: Finally, Brightheart, to the chamber. (Brightheart enters) Big Brother: Brightheart, nominate now. Brightheart: For 8 points I nominate SCARLETPAW because I think she doesn't want to be here anymore. Big Brother: Fair enough. Accepted. Brightheart: For 2 points, I nominate WILLOWPELT because she's kinda... insane, plus, she came back, and I'd be peeved if she beat me after that. Big Brother: Accepted. Nominations are over. All housemates, to the lounge. FINAL TABLE: DARKSTRIPE 23 SCARLETPAW 13 WILLOWPELT 9 Brightheart 8 Sorreltail 7 Cinderpelt 5 Jayfeather 0 (in the lounge) Big Brother: Housemates, as you know, Scarletpaw had the superpower. Her power was that she could make one housemate's nomination points normal value, meaning they had 5 points, not 10, to nominate with. Everyone: (gasp) Darkstripe: What an awesome superpower! D: Big Brother: I will now reveal the cats nominated and the number of points they received. On 23 points, DARKSTRIPE. Darkstripe: I freakin' knew it. Big Brother: On 14 points, SCARLETPAW. Scarletpaw: If I wasn't in the depression pod, I'd go there now! D: Big Brother: And on 9 points, WILLOWPELT. Willowpelt: BAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA! I ATE ALVIN AND HIS CHIPMUNKS! Brightheart: NUUUUUUUUUUUUU! ALVIN! D: Big Brother: Darkstripe, Scarletpaw, Willowpelt, at the end of the week, one of you WILL be evicted. That is all. WEEK THIRTEEN, DAILY SHOW (Ft. Blossomfall, Jetfeather and Shoalfoot) (Scarletpaw is sitting in the depression pod) Scarletpaw: Oh, how I miss my dear Shoalfoot! Now, I shall lie here untill I am evicted from the- (there are 3 small thumps on the depression pod door) Scarletpaw: What's that? (Darkstripe is throwing a tennis ball at the door) Scarletpaw: GET OUT! I'M TRYING TO BE DEPRESSED HERE! Darkstripe: Killjoy... (leaves the room) Darkstripe: I wonder what's going on in the kitchen? (in the kitchen) Sorreltail: (is dancing with an ice-cream) Ice cream! Ice cream! La, lala, la, lalala, la, lala, la, lalala, lalalalala! Brightheart: (to Cinderpelt) She's gonna drop it. Cinderpelt: (giggles) Sorreltail: Ice cream! Ice cre- (trips and falls. The cone smashes in half and the ice cream falls on the floor.) Brightheart: Called it! Darkstripe: OWNED! Jayfeather: (runs in) Grumeph grumpeh grump! (starts licking the ice-cream) Sorreltail: Bad Jayfeather! My ice cream! (throws Jayfeather against the window) (the window smashes) Cinderpelt: All right, Sorreltail! Brightheart: WAIT! What time is it? Willowpelt: WOODPECKER! Brightheart: Wh... What? Cinderpelt: It's about 7:30, why? Brightheart: CRAP! AMERICAN IDOL'S ON IN 5 MINUTES! RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! (everyone but Scarletpaw sprints to the lounge) (in the lounge) Brightheart: AMERICAN IDOOOOOOOL! (sprints on to couch and turns the TV on) (American Idol starts) Willowpelt: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Sorreltail: Shhhh! Willowpelt: CHAINSAW MONKEYS FLYING UPSIDE DOWN IN A TUTU! Darkstripe: SHHHHHHHH! We're trying to watch American Idol! Willowpelt: ORANGE HANDBAGS! Cinderpelt: Somebody put her outside? Jayfeather: Grumeph grumpeh grump! (grabs Willowpelt) Willowpelt: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! (struggles madly) Jayfeather: Grumpeeeeeeh! D: Brightheart: I CAN'T HEAR AMERICAN IDOL! (picks Willowpelt up and boots her like a football. She lands outside) Cinderpelt: Shut the door before she runs back in! Willowpelt: (charging towards the door) I AM THE GARGOYLE CHIP! YOU WILL NEVER STOP ME! Darkstripe: (slams the door) Cinderpelt: Thank StarClan! Sorreltail: Thankyou, StarClan! Cinderpelt: I didn't mean literally, you halfwit. Sorreltail: Oh. Willowpelt: (scratches at the door) Brightheart: Everyone try to ignore it! Willowpelt: (scratches louder) Brightheart: Keep ignoring it! Willowpelt: (scratches even louder) Brightheart: SHUT UP! I CAN'T HEAR AMERICAN IDOL! (locks WIllowpelt in a fridge and boots it to the bottom of the pool.) Darkstripe: Is she going to be okay? Sorreltail: It's Willowpelt! Brightheart: SHUT THE (bleep) UP! Cinderpelt: I'm so glad Thrushpelt isn't here right now. Jayfeather: Grump? Cinderpelt: Nicki Minaj is on the TV screen. He'd be licking it right now. Brightheart: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU!? Sorreltail: Everyone shut up! The first performance is on. (the TV shuts off) Everyone: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Brightheart: THE POWER WENT OUT! D: Darkstripe: No it didn't. (turns light on) See? Jayfeather: GRUMPEH GRUMPETEH GRUMPEH! Cinderpelt: Jayfeather, shut up. He can't understand you. BIG BROTHER! Big Brother: Yes'm? Cinderpelt: THE TV BROKE! Big Brother: No it didn't. I switched it off. Sorreltail: WHY? Big Brother: Because I want Scarletpaw out of that stupid pod! And the TV isn't going back on until you get her out! Brightheart: YOU DOUCHE! Sorreltail: TO THE BEDROOM! (Everyone charges to the bedroom) (in the bedroom) Brightheart: (charging towards the depression pod) Get out of there, you monster! Scarletpaw: AAAAAAAAAAAH! (curls up in to a ball at the corner of the depression pod and hisses) Darkstripe: Dude, you have to come out of there, or else Brightheart won't be able to watch American Idol, and then she'll get cranky! Scarletpaw: I don't care! I'm depressed! Cinderpelt: Um, Scarletpaw, take my word for it. You don't want to see Brightheart when she's cranky. Now, get out of that stupid pod! Scarletpaw: It's not stupid, and NO! Cinderpelt: Well, I see you leave me no other choice... Scarletpaw: What... What are you doing? Cinderpelt: Sorreltail! The baseball bat, if you please? Sorreltail: Here you are! (hands baseball bat) Cinderpelt: Why thankyou... DIE DEPRESSION POD! (whacks it with a baseball bat) WHY WON'T IT BREAK? Scarletpaw: Because it's reinforced glass, you douche. Now, go away! I'm trying to be depressed! Cinderpelt: Reinforced glass? What will we do? Jayfeather: Grumpus grumpeteh grumpeh! Brightheart: Willowpelt! We forgot all about her! If anyone can break reinforced glass, it's her! Where is she again? Jayfeather: (facepaw) Darkstripe: You locked her in a fridge and put it at the bottom of the pool. Brightheart: Right. Sorreltail, go get her out. Scarletpaw: It's not going to work! I got this Willowpelt-proofed. Brightheart: We'll see about that.. (15 minutes later) Willowpelt: BAHAAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHA! IT'S TIME FOR THE BULLDOZER! Scarletpaw: I keep telling you it won't work! Brightheart: WIllowpelt? Willowpelt: (charging towards the pod) I AM THE SWAN FLAVOURED GOOSE OF DUCK LAND!! (tries to bite the pod) IT WON'T BREAK! Sorreltail: (straps rocket powered missile to Willowpelt's back) Try again. Willowpelt: (charges back to the entrance) LIGHT ME! Cinderpelt: (lights the missile) Willowpelt: (goes flying towards the pod) A WOODPECKER IS SECRETLY A CARROT WITH WINGS!!! (Willowpelt hits the pod, but it doesn't break. Instead, she bounces off and crashes in to the wall, tearing a massive hole in it.) Brightheart: This really is ''Willowpelt proof! D: Sorreltail: We need a new plan! Scarletpaw: Whatever it is, it won't work. Brightheart: Oh, won't it, now? We'll certainly see about that! EVERYBODY, OUTSIDE THE BEDROOM! (the other housemates leave the bedroom) (outside) Brightheart: Okay, what's Scarletpaw's favourite food? Sorreltail: Scones? Cinderpelt: No, we need something different. I tried to bring her scones before, but she didn't want them. Jayfeather: Grumpeh grumeph grump? Brightheart: What was that? Jayfeather: (sighs and hands Grump-English dictionary to Brightheart) Jayfeather: Grumpeh grumpeh grump? Brightheart: She likes pizza? What kind of pizza? Jayfeather: Grumpeteh grump! Brightheart: Hawaiian pizza! We'll order that in and eat it in front of her! She'll ''have ''to come out! Cinderpelt, go ring up Domino's! Cinderpelt: (picks up the phone) Hello, Domino's? Yes, can we get a family sized Hawaiian pizza delivered to the Big Brother house? Okay. see you then. (hangs up) Darkstripe: What happened? Sorreltail: (knocks Darkstripe out) No! Tell ''me first! Cinderpelt: They're bringing the pizza over in about 20 minutes. Brightheart: (laughs) This is gonna be fun! (20 minutes later) (doorbell rings) Willowpelt: (barks like a dog) Brightheart: Willowpelt! Down, girl! Willowpelt: (keeps barking) Brightheart: Stop it or you'll go in to the basement! Willowpelt: (shuts up) Darkstripe: (opens the door) Hello! Are you here with our pizza? Blossomfall: That depends. Did you order a (checks notebook) Thin crust Hawaiian pizza? Sorreltail: (grabs pizza) Yes we did. Thank you! Blossomfall: Right, that'll be $20 thanks. Brightheart: $20? We don't have that money! Blossomfall: Well, then, give the pizza back. Brightheart: Oh Willowpelt? Willowpelt: (starts chasing Blossomfall) EAT THE CHICKENS, YOU COW HATER! Blossomfall: AAAAAAAAAAAAH! (sprints in to car and drives off) Cinderpelt: Since when can a cat drive a car? Sorreltail: Who cares? We have free pizza! Willowpelt, come back! Willowpelt: (charges in to the door) RUN, CHILDREN! RUN FOR THE HILLS! Brightheart: Right, now let's see if this plan works! (In deliberately loud voice) Oh, this Hawaiin pizza tastes absolutely lovely! ''Don't you think so guys? Everyone: (in deliberately loud voices) Oh yes! This is delicious! Scarletpaw: (from the bedroom) Oh, come on! You guys ordered Hawaiian? Can I have some? Darkstripe: Not unless you come out and get some! Scarletpaw: I can't leave! I'm depressed! Cinderpelt: Well, too bad! Jayfeather: (points at pizza) Grumeph (points at bedroom) grumpus le grump? Cinderpelt: What are you trying to say, Jayfeather? Jayfeather: (points at pizza) Grump (points at bedroom) Grumpeteh (points at mouth) grumpus! Brightheart: Jayfeather, you aren't suggesting that we eat it in front of her, are you? Jayfeather: (nods) Brightheart: Oh, Jayfeather, I like your style! (laughs) Let's go! (they run to the bedroom) (in the bedroom) Willowpelt: WOODPECKER POTATO HONEY! Scarletpaw: What do you guys want ''now? Cinderpelt: (comes in with the pizza) We were going to give you a slice... Scarletpaw: (purrs) Aw, guys! That's sweet. Thanks. Sorreltail: But then we thought it would be funnier if we ate it in front of you, because then you'd come out of the pod to get some. So we're going to do that. Scarletpaw: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Everyone: (eats pizza in front of her) This is delicious! Jayfeather: Grumpeh grumpeh grump! Scarletpaw: (throws teacups at them) GET OUT! GET OUT ALL OF YOU! Everyone but Willowpelt: AAAAAAAH! (runs out of the room) Willowpelt: IF I WERE A BONE, I'D BE AN AWESOME BONE! (sprints out of the room) (outside the bedroom) Cinderpelt: Okay, that failed miserably. Sorreltail: We need a new plan! Jayfeather: Grump- Brightheart: Jayfeather, you had your plan and it failed, so shut up. Anyway, new plans, anyone? Willowpelt: WE SHOULD DANCE IN TOMATO SUITS! Brightheart: No. Darkstripe: I have an idea! Sorreltail: You can't have an idea! It's illegal for you to have an idea! Darkstripe: No it's not! (the door bursts open) Police Officer: POLICE! DON'T MOVE! Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAAH! Police Officer: Darkstripe, you're under arrest for having an idea! (places handcuffs on Darkstripe) Darkstripe: NUUUUUUUUUUU! Cinderpelt: Well, I guess it is illegal. Brightheart: DON'T. YOU. DARE. LEAVE. WITH. DARKSTRIPE! Sorreltail: Are you kidding? This is the best thing to ever happen to me! Brightheart: Listen right here, you stupid Twoleg cops, I'm missing American Idol because Big Brother turned the TV off until Scarletpaw gets out of the depression pod. So, if Darkstripe has an idea that might work, we are going to listen to it. And no stupid Twoleg cops will stop us! Police Officer: Right. Um... We'll be off then. Bye-bye! Darkstripe: The handcuffs? Police Officer: Oh, Right. (takes handcuffs off) (the Police Officers leave) Sorreltail: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! MY ONE CHANCE TO BE RID OF DARKSTRIPE FOREVER WITHOUT GOING TO JAIL IS GONE! D: Brightheart: Darkstripe! Idea! Now! Darkstripe: Okay, what I was saying was: Maybe, just maybe, instead of trying all these wacky, time consuming ideas, we should just offer her a cup of tea and some scones? Brightheart: (gasp) LE GENIUS! Sorreltail: No... It's a bad idea! Jayfeather: (roundhouse kicks Sorreltail) Brightheart: Thanks, Jayfeather. Cinderpelt: (is jumping up and down excitedly and clapping) Can we carve smiley faces in to the scones? Darkstripe: Yes we may! Any more questions? Willowpelt:(raises paw) Darkstripe: Yes? Willowpelt: FRUITCAKE TOMATO! Darkstripe: Any real questions? Brightheart: (raises paw) Darkstripe: Yes? Brightheart: I don't know how to make scones... Cinderpelt: That's a statement, you moron. Darkstripe: (massive facepaw) Fine! We'll google it. Cinderpelt, will you- Cinderpelt: Already done. Darkstripe: That was fast... Cinderpelt: I was already on my laptop. Darkstripe: Whatever. To the kitchen! Everyone but Darkstripe and Scarletpaw (jumps in portal) Darkstripe: The kitchen is right there! Everyone but Darkstripe and Scarletpaw: But this is more fun! Darkstripe: You guys are a bunch of weirdos. (runs to kitchen) (in the kitchen) Darkstripe: Okay, let's make scones! (Jetfeather appears) Jetfeather: I have the feeling this is going to be boring, so we're having a TIME SKIP! Jayfeather: GRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMP! D: Jetfeather: I love being evil! xD (Jetfeather claps her paws together and a time skip portal appears. She shoves everyone in it) Everyone: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! (falls in to the portal) Jetfeather: You may thank me later. (disappears) (20 minutes later) (the time skip portal opens and all the housemates fall out) Everyone but Scarletpaw: AAAAAAAH! (thud) Cinderpelt: The scones! OMSC, where are the scones! Brightheart: (holds up scones) LE HERE! Sorreltail: Please stop saying that... Brightheart: LE WHY? Sorreltail: Because I LE SAID SO! Darkstripe: To the bedroom! (runs off) Willowpelt: FANGIRLING IN A TOMATO SOUP CAN! (runs to bedroom) (in the bedroom) Jayfeather: Grumpeh gruuuuuuump! Scarletpaw: (massive sigh) What on earth do you want now? Darkstripe: (enters with tea and scones) We made you some scones and a cup of tea! Scarletpaw: No thanks. Darkstripe: (drops tea in shock) Wh-wh-wh-what? Scarletpaw: I don't feel like scones or a cup of tea at the moment. Everyone: (shocked gasp) Sorreltail: (falls to knees dramatically) THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END! D: Willowpelt: FANCY ANTS WILl DANCE IN PANTS! Sorreltail: I CAN FEEL THE EARTH SPLITTING OPEN! Willowpelt: (singing like Beyonce) IF I WERE A CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT! I WOULD MEOW LIKE A CAT! Sorreltail: (backhands Willowpelt) Will you shut up? I'm trying to be dramatic here! Darkstripe: Please continue. Sorreltail: I CAN FEEL THE EARTH SPLITTING OPEN! (the room splits. Jayfeather falls through the crack in the ground) Jayfeather: (is thrashing about madly) GRUMPETEH GRUMPETEH GRUUUUUUUUUUMP! D: Cinderpelt: What? Jayfeather: I said help me, you stupid morons! Sorreltail: I WAS BEING DRAMATIC! Big Brother: Right. Sorry. (closes the gap. Jayfeather is stuck.) Sorreltail: Uh... Big Brother? Cinderpelt: No! Leave it! Big Brother: Oh. Right. (opens the gap up again.) Jayfeather: (scrambles out) Scarletpaw: (laughing) That was the funniest thing I've seen all day! Brightheart: WILL YOU COME OUT NOW!? Scarletpaw: Still depressed. Sorry. Brightheart: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Cinderpelt: Wait! I have an idea! (out in the lounge) Cinderpelt: I know what we can do! Brightheart: Tell us already! Jayfeather: Grumpeeeeeeeh! D: Cinderpelt: Okay, what's the one thing making Scarletpaw depressed? Willowpelt: PICK WILLOWPELT! Cinderpelt: Yes? Willowpelt: SHE'S BEEN EATING TOO MANY SHOALFOOTS! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Cinderpelt: Uh... Nooooo. Any other cat? Darkstripe: She misses Shoalfoot! Cinderpelt: So what are we going to do? Darkstripe: Bring Shoalfoot back? Cinderpelt: No. What a stupid idea! We're going to make a hologram of Shoalfoot! Brightheart: And how exactly are we meant to do that? Cinderpelt: With a hologram machine! Sorreltail: But we don't have one. Cinderpelt: Well, we'll have to buy ''one, won't we? Sorreltail: And where will we get one? Cinderpelt: We'll order one on Amazon! Willowpelt: I HAVE AN AMAZON ACCOUNT! Brightheart: What is it? Willowpelt: WILLOWPELT IS EPIC BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! Darkstripe: With all the spaces? Willowpelt: AND THE EXCLAMATION MARKS! Cinderpelt: I won't remember all that! Willowpelt, you copy and paste it in to the username thing. '''AMAZON LOGIN:' Username: '''WILLOWPELT IS EPIC BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! '''Password: Sorreltail: Willowpelt, what's your password? Darkstripe: How about we try: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Cinderpelt: O...kay! AMAZON LOGIN: Username: '''WILLOWPELT IS EPIC BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! '''Password: '''BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! '''LOGIN SUCCESSFUL Brightheart: Hey, it worked! Cinderpelt: (searches 'Hologram Machine.') (1 result pops up) Cinderpelt: I FOUND ONE! I FOUND ONE! Brightheart: ORDER ITTTTTTTTTTT! Jayfeather: Grumpeh! Grumpeteh Grumpus grumpeteh grump! (translation: Hurry! It's near the end of American Idol!) Cinderpelt: (clicks 'Place order') NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Darkstripe: WHAT? Cinderpelt: WE NEED A CREDIT CARD! WHO HAS ONE? Sorreltail: I have a Debit card. Cinderpelt: That'll have to do. Give it. Sorreltail: How much is it? Brightheart: $2062.62, But it doesn't matter! Sorreltail: WHAT!? Brightheart: THINK OF AMERICAN IDOL! Sorreltail: Fine! But the winner has to give me that back. Everyone but Sorreltail and Scarletpaw: Okay, okay! Cinderpelt: (places order) (doorbell rings) Cinderpelt: That was quick! (the housemates have brought the new Hologram machine inside) Darkstripe: So, how do you work this thing? Cinderpelt: Read the instructions. Darkstripe: I left my glasses in the bedroom. Sorreltail: You don't wear glasses! Darkstripe: BUT I DON'T WANT TO READ! D: Brighthearrt: Fine! I'll ''read it! (snatches piece of paper away) Darkstripe: (starts crying) But... I want to read it! D: Brightheart: You just said you didn't! Darkstripe: But now I do! Brightheart: (sigh) Fine. (hands piece of paper to Darkstripe) Darkstripe: "Hologram Machine. This is used to create 3-D, lifelike pictures of anything. To use, aim the lazer ray towards the thing you want to copy, then press the red button. You don't have to use the actual thing- pictures are fine. To get rid of the hologram, press the blue button." Jayfeather: Grumpeh grumpeteh grumpus? (presses red button) (the lazer ray fires at Willowpelt) (a hologram Willowpelt is formed) Cinderpelt: JAYFEATHER, WHAT DID YOU DO!? Both Willowpelts: CHICKEN FLAVOURED BEEF COWS! Darkstripe: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! TWO WILLOWPELTS! Brightheart: KILL IT! KILL IT! KILL IT! Jayfeather: (presses blue button) Sorreltail: How does he know where the buttons are when he's blind? (Both Willowpelts disappear) Sorreltail: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Everyone else: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! Sorreltail: BRING HER BACK! D: (the original Willowpelt jumps out of the lazer ray) Willowpelt: STRAWBERRY, RASPBERRY, BLUEBERRY! Brightheart: Right. Now we need a picture of Shoalfoot. Cinderpelt: Scarletpaw has one! Darkstripe: To the- Sorreltail: (tackles Darkstripe) NO! YOU WILL NOT SAY THAT AGAIN! Darkstripe: Okay... (everyone goes off to the bedroom) (in the bedroom) Scarletpaw: Why can't you guys just (bleep) off? Cinderpelt: Woah! That wasn't needed, you (bleep)wit! Anyway, we need a picture of Shoalfoot. Scarletpaw: Why? Darkstripe: Because we do. Scarletpaw: O...kay. (hands picture of Shoalfoot) There you go. Darkstripe: Thanks! We'll be back in a bit! (back outside the bedroom) Darkstripe: WE HAVE THE PICTURE! Brightheart: We know. We were there, idiot. Darkstripe: (bleep) You. Brightheart: No! Darkstripe: Anyway, Jayfeather, fire up the lazer ray! (aims lazer ray towards Shoalfoot's picture) Jayfeather: Grumeph grump! Cinderpelt: Jayfeather can't do it! His eyes are broken! Jayfeather: GRUMPETEH! D: Cinderpelt: (presses the red button) (The lazer ray fires on Shoalfoot's picture) (A Shoalfoot hologram is formed) Shoalfoot Hologram: Konnichiwa! Namae wa Shoalfoot desu! O genki desuka? Cinderpelt: IT WORKED!!!!!! Shoalfoot Hologram: What worked? Cinderpelt: Brightheart, fill her in. Shoalfoot Hologram: FIll me in on what? Brightheart: Scarletpaw's depressed because she misses the real Shoalfoot, so you have to pretend to be the real Shoalfoot so she can get out of the depression pod long enough for us to burn it. Okay? Shoalfoot Hologram: Got it. Darkstripe: To- Sorreltail: Don't you dare. (in the bedroom) Darkstripe: Hello again! Scarletpaw: WHAT NOW!? Jayfeather: Grumpus grumnpeh gruuuuump! (enters with Shoalfoot Hologram) Scarletpaw: OMSC.... SHOALFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! (jumps out of depression pod and tacklehugs) Shoalfoot: Scarletpaw! (purrs) Konnichiwa! Scarletpaw: Konnichiwa! OMSC I LOVE YOU GUYS! Brightheart: Burn it! Burn it! Willowpelt: DUCK SAUCE WITH A FLAVOURED MINT! (burns depression pod) Scarletpaw: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! MY DEPRESSION POD! D: BUT SHOALFOOT'S HERE! YAY! Cinderpelt: (presses the blue button) (Shoalfoot Hologram disappears) Scarletpaw: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! YOU TRICKERS! IT WAS ONLY A HOLOGRAM! NOW I'M MORE DEPRESSED THAN EVER! D: (pulls out new depression pod and crawls in to that) Brightheart: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Sorrreltail: How do you have two!? Scarletpaw: Oh, didn't I tell you guys? When I bought the depression pod, they had a two for one sale on. Everyone but Scarletpaw: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Voice from Outside: Everybody come outside! You too, Scarletpaw! Scarletpaw: NO! I'm in the depression pod! Voice from Outside: (sigh) Is there any other cat in there with you? Sorreltail: We all are. Voice from Outside: Sorreltail? Is that you? Sorreltail: Yes. Voice from Outside: Sorreltail, on Scarletpaw's depresion pod, there should be a digital lock that has a 4 digit code. Do you see it? Sorreltail: Yes. Voice from Outside: Enter the code: 5367. Scarletpaw: HOW DOES THIS STRANGE VOICE KNOW MY CODE!? I ONLY TOLD IT TO SHOALFOOT! (Sorreltail enters the code. The door swings open) Voice from Outside: Now bring her outside. Sorreltail: WIllowpelt? Willowpelt: (starts running towards Scarletpaw) BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BANANA SMOOTHIE WITH A CARROT! Scarletpaw: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (runs outside) (everyone else follows) (outside) Brightheart: What are we waiting for? (Japanese music starts playing) Darkstripe: Why is there Japanese music playing? (Shoalfoot comes down on a flying kimono) Shoalfoot: Konnichiwa! O genki desuka? Everyone but Scarletpaw: Shoalfoot! Scarletpaw: SHOALFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! (tacklehugs her) Wait, how do I know this isn't another hologram? Shoalfoot: Jayfeather, go press that blue button. Jayfeather: Grumpeh! (presses blue button) (the hologram machine blows up) Shoalfoot: Woah. Didn't see that coming. Darkstripe: So ''that's ''what that red text in huge letters was. Sorreltail: YOU IDIOTS! I WANT MY MONEY BACK! Brightheart: Burn the depression pod! Burn it! (Cinderpelt burns the depression pod) Scarletpaw: Now that I know this isn't a hologram: SHOALFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! (tacklehugs her and starts licking her to death) I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU! Shoalfoot: You know I hate being licked! Why are you licking me? Scarletpaw: Sorry, sorry, but I'm just so excited! Shoalfoot: Scarletpaw, come with me. We're going to Disneyland in Tokyo! Scarletpaw: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! (hops on to flying kimono) Shoalfoot: Sayounara! (flies away) Darkstripe: ''I ''wanna go to a Japanese Disneyland! D: (the TV comes back on) Brightheart: AMERICAN IDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL! (sprints to the TV) (American Idol has finished) Brightheart:WHAT HAPPENED TO AMERICAN IDOL!? Big Brother: It finished hours ago. Cinderpelt: Uh-oh. Get ready to ''hide! Brightheart: I... MISSED... AMERICAN IDOL! ROAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR! (starts breaking everything) Big Brother: Stop breaking everything in my house! Brightheart: (stops) This is your house? Big Brother: Of course I do! Why do you think this is the only Big Brother house in the world to have a TV and internet connection in it? Brightheart: Oh. BUT I'M STILL MAD! (breaks Cinderpelt's laptop) Cinderpelt: Hey! D: Brightheart: (goes to bite Sorreltail's debit card) Sorreltail: Wait! Brightheart, something else might be on! Big Brother, what's on now? Big Brother: ThunderClan's Next Top Model. Sorreltail: No... Not that! Anything but that! Darkstripe: Turn it off, quick! Before One-Eye comes on wearing a bikini! (One-Eye comes on to the screen, wearing a bikini) Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Sorreltail: SCARRED FOR LIFE! D: Brightheart: (breaks TV) I hate that stupid show! Darkstripe: Thank StarClan that's over! Jayfeather: Wait! Now we don't have a TV! Everyone: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! WEEK THIRTEEN, CHALLENGE (the next day. Big Brother has repaired the TV) (Darkstripe is watching ThunderClan's Next Top Model) Princess: And the model we are sending home tonight is... (Cinderpelt enters) Cinderpelt: Darkstripe? What are you- Darkstripe: (switches TV off) Nothing. (bleep), now I need to go on Wikipedia! (Sorreltail enters) Sorreltail: What's going on? Willowpelt: DARKSTRIPE WAS WATCHING THUNDERCLAN'S NEXT TOP MODEL! Brightheart: (spits out drink) Everyone: (dies laughing) (Japanese music plays) Darkstripe: (gasp) Scarletpaw's home! (the group run outside) (Scarletpaw jumps off the flying kimono) Scarletpaw: Thanks, Shoalfoot! (Shoalfoot flies away) Brightheart: (tacklehugs) PRESEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENTS! Scarletpaw: Settle down! I got everyone presents- except for Cinderpelt. Cinderpelt: WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY!? Scarletpaw: Because I hate you, idiot. Cinderpelt: Oh. Scarletpaw: (takes stuffed squirrel out of the bag) That's Mr. Squirrely, but he's mine. Anyway, here's Brightheart's- Willowpelt: (shreads Mr. Squirrely) Scarletpaw: (takes Brightheart's gift out of the bag) Gift, and- HEY! WHO SHREDDED MR. SQUIRRELY!? Willowpelt: (pushes shredded squirrel towards Cinderpelt) IT WAS HER! Cinderpelt: What? Scarletpaw: Cinderpelt! I should have known... Cinderpelt: It wasn't me! Scarletpaw: (punches Cinderpelt) I'M SO DEPRESSED! I'M GONNA GO TO THE DEPRESSION POD! Willowpelt: "MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU, HARRY POTTER!" SAID GANDALF, OF THE AVENGERS!!!! (tackles Scarletpaw in to the pool) Scarletpaw: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Brightheart: PRESENTS! NOW! Scarletpaw: GET YOUR OWN DARN PRESENTS! (throws the bag at Brightheart) Brightheart: PRESEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENTS! (Everyone goes towards the bag) Brightheart: My presents! Go away! (hisses) Darkstripe: But Darkstripe wants a present! Which one's mine, Scarletpaw? Scarletpaw: The pink pair of shorts! Darkstripe: EEEEEEEEEEEEEE! PINK SHORTS! (gets them out and puts them on) Don't I look FABULOUS? Everyone but Darkstripe: (vomits) Willowpelt: THAT'S WORSE THAN A DEAD PANCAKE THAT DIED OF BEING DEAD!!!! Big Brother: Everyone outside! It's time for the- Oh, you are outside. (Big Brother walks outside) Big Brother: Okay, if you could all just- (spots Darkstripe in his shorts) Big Brother: (vomits) Darkstripe: (walks over to Big Brother) These shorts are amazing! Don't you think I look good, Big Brother? Big Brother: STAY AWAY, YOU FREAK! (jumps in the pool) Sorreltail: I didn't know Twolegs liked water... (beyond the garden, at the scene of the challenge) Big Brother: Okay, basically, this is a quiz. I'll give you a multiple choice or "closest answer wins" question. Everyone who gets it right gets to cut one rope from a cat's dummy. When all 3 of your ropes are cut, you are out. There will be one question about each cat that the cat can't answer. And one last thing, last year when we had this challenge, Ferncloud went mental and almost killed Bluestar. I will say this only once- If you are out, DO NOT GO MENTAL AND ALMOST OR COMPLETELY KILL A CAT! Any such behaviour will result in immediate eviction. Any questions? Darkstripe: (raises paw) Big Brother: If you're going to ask me if you can wear your favourite pink shirt and hoodie, then forget it. Darkstripe: I wasn't going to ask that. Big Brother: What, then? Darkstripe: Who got eliminated on ThunderClan's Next Top Model? Sorreltail: I knew it! I knew ''you watched that show! Big Brother: One-Eye. Darkstripe: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! (the challenge has started) Big Brother: Okay, first question! Who was the third intruder this season? Was it: '''A. Shoalfoot' B. Scarletpaw C. Aquasplash (the housemates write down their answers) Big Brother: Reveal! (the housemates reveal their answers) Brightheart: A Cinderpelt: C Darkstripe: B Jayfeather: B Scarletpaw: C Sorreltail: B Willowpelt: Z Scarletpaw: I was first, idiots! Jayfeather, Darkstripe and Sorreltail: (bleep)! Why did I pick that? Big Brother: Cinderpelt and Scarletpaw got it right! Chop a rope. Cinderpelt: Revenge is mine! (chops Scarletpaw's rope) Scarletpaw: Hey! (chops Cinderpelt's rope) Cinderpelt: Hey! Big Brother: Cinderpelt and Scarletpaw are down to two ropes! Next question. This one is about Darkstripe, so he can't answer it. Darkstripe: NUUUUUUUUUU! Big Brother: Which of the following shows is NOT watched by Darkstripe? A. ''Cook Healthy With Ferncloud'' B. Better Dens And Territories C. ''ThunderClan's Next Top Model'' Darkstripe: This is so easy! Big Brother: Write down your answers! (the housemates write down their answers) Big Brother: Reveal! (the housemates reveal their answers) Brightheart: B Cinderpelt: B Jayfeather: B Scarletpaw: B Sorreltail: B Willowpelt: A Big Brother: I can't believe I'm saying this, but Willowpelt was the only one who answered correctly! Darkstripe: Okay, so ''offended! How could you not notice that I have every issue of the ''Better Dens and Territories magazine? And how could any cat think I watch Cook Healthy With Ferncloud? ''I watch ''Graystripe's Kitchen, thank you very much! Big Brother: WIllowpelt! Chop a rope! Willowpelt: DANCING LIKE A DISCO DRUM! (chops Brightheart's rope) Brightheart: WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!? Big Brother: Brightheart is on two ropes! Big Brother: Okay, next question! This is a "closet to correct answer" question, so the cat with the answer closest to the right one will win! Here's the question: How many Frequent Flyer points does Shoalfoot have? (the housemates write down their answers) Big Brother: Reveal! (the housemates reveal their answers) Brightheart: 14,808 Cinderpelt: 7,002 Darkstripe: 9,119 Jayfeather: 6,210 Scarletpaw: 6,212 Sorreltail: 8,004 Willowpelt: 15,674 Big Brother: The correct answer is... 6,211! That means Jayfeather and Scarletpaw were equally close, so they get to chope a rope. Scarletpaw first. Scarletpaw: With this chop, the mighty Scarletpaw takes one mighty step for the British! (chops Cinderpelt's rope) Cinderpelt: Drama Queen... Big Brother: Cinderpelt has one rope left! Jayfeather: (moves towards Cinderpelt's rope) Cinderpelt: Jayfeather, baby, that isn't my rope. Jayfeather: Grumpus? Scarletpaw: Actually, it- Cinderpelt: (punches Scarletpaw) Jayfeather, you were going to cut your own rope! You want the next one. Jayfeather: Grumpeh grumpeteh! (walks over to own set of ropes and chops one) Big Brother: And Jayfeather chops his own rope! Jayfeather: GRUMPETEH GRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMP!!!! >:( Big Brother: Next question! Big Brother: This one is about Willowpelt, so she can't answer it. Willowpelt: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA! I'M A SHEEP! MOOOOOOOO! Big Brother: On Willowpelt's BBTC entry form, what was her response to the question What will you do if you win the show? A. HAPPY FLYING SMILEY FACES IN A RED CAR! I AM THE JUPITER SUN! B. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, MR. SHOE! C. BIRDS ARE DELICIOUS... IF YOU ARE A BIRD! Big Brother: Write your answers! (the housemates write their answers) Big Brother: Reveal! (the housemates reveal their answers) Brightheart: B Cinderpelt: B Darkstripe: B Jayfeather: A Scarletpaw: C Sorreltail: B Big Brother: Everyone but Jayfeather and Scarletpaw got it right! Brightheart, chope a rope. Brightheart: (walks over to Scarletpaw's ropes) This is for making me miss American Idol! (chops Scarletpaw's rope) Scarletpaw: NUUUUUUUUUU! Cinderpelt: Bye, Scarletpaw! (chops Scarletpaw's last rope) (Scarletpaw's dummy falls) Big Brother: Scarletpaw is out! Sit on the bench. (Scarletpaw sits on the bench) Big Brother: Darkstripe, you're up! (Darkstripe chops Sorreltail's rope) Big Brother: Sorreltail loses her first rope! Sorreltail: Oh, it's on! (chops Darkstripe's rope) Big Brother: And so does Darkstripe! Next question! Big Brother: What jam does Scarletpaw spread on her scones? A. Strawberry B. Raspberry C. Apricot (the housemates write their answers) Big Brother: Reveal! (the housemates reveal their answers) Brightheart: A Cinderpelt: A Darkstripe: A Jayfeather: A Sorreltail: A Willowpelt: A Big Brother: Everyone got it right! Brightheart: (chops Jayfeather's rope) Jayfeather: Grumpeh! D: Cinderpelt: Byeeeeeee! (chops Jayfeather's rope) (Jayfeather's dummy falls) Big Brother: Jayfeather is out! Sit on the bench! (Jayfeather moves for the bench) Darkstripe: (chops Willowpelt's rope) Willowpelt: YOU PORCUPINE PINE! Sorreltail: (chops Cinderpelt's rope) (Cinderpelt's dummy falls) Cinderpelt: WHAT THE HECK!? Sorreltail: Sorry... I wanted to eliminate a cat. Big Brother: Cinderpelt is out! Go sit on the bench! Willowpelt: (chops Darkstripe's rope) Big Brother: Darkstripe has one rope left! Next question! ROPE COUNT Brightheart: 2 Darkstripe: 1 Sorreltail: 2 Willowpelt: 2 Big Brother: This one is about Jayfeather. Who taught Jayfeather the language of Grump? A. Mousefur B. Leafpool C. Yellowfang Big Brother: Write your answers! (the housemates write their answers) Big Brother: Reveal! (the housemates reveal their answers) Brightheart: C Darkstripe: A Sorreltail: A Willowpelt: C Big Brother: Darkstripe and Sorreltail got it right! Darkstripe: NUUUUUUUUUU! Big Brother: Chop a rope! (Darkstripe chops Sorreltail's rope) Big Brother: Sorreltail has one rope left! Sorreltail: Bye Darkstri-AAAAAAH! (Sorreltail trips and falls. Her knife goes flying and cuts her last rope) (Sorreltail's dummy falls) Darkstripe; OWNED! Sorreltail: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Big Brother: Sorreltail is out! Go sit on the bench! Next question! Big Brother: The first two challenges involved which two sports? A. Water Polo and Basketball B. Volleyball and Netball C. Volleyball and Soccer Write your answers! (the housemates write their answers) Big Brother: Reveal! (the hoysemates reveal their answers) Brighthe'''art: B''' Darkstripe: C Willowpelt: C Big Brother: Darkstripe and Willowpelt got it right! Chop a rope, guys! Darkstripe: (chops Willowpelt's rope) Big Brother: WIllowpelt has one rope left! Willowpelt: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (chops Brightheart's rope) Big Brother: Now everyone has one rope left! Next question! Big Brother: Who was the fourth housemate evicted? A. Purdy B. Bumblestripe C. Snowfur Big Brother: Write your answers! (the housemates write their answers) Big Brother: Reveal! Brightheart: A Darkstripe: C Willowpelt: B Big Brother: The answer is C. Snowfur! Darkstripe, chop a rope! Darkstripe: I'm sorry, Brightheart, but... (chops Brightheart's rope) (Brightheart's dummy falls) Brightheart: YOU DOUCHE! WHY DIDN'T YOU CHOP PSYCHO'S ROPE!? Willowpelt: BECAUSE HE'S A FLOWER EATING GOLDFISH, THAT'S WHY! Darkstripe: Because I can beat psycho. Big Brother: Brightheart is out! Sit on the bench. (Brightheart sits on the bench) Big Brother: Next question! Big Brother: Who survived the fake eviction in Season One? A. Hazeltail B. Icecloud C. Brambleclaw Write your answers! (the housemates write their answers) Big Brother: Reveal! (the housemates reveal their answers) Darkstripe: A Willowpelt: A Big Brother: Both right! It's a race to chop the rope, now go! Willowpelt: (charges towards Darkstripe's rope) PURPLE TOMATOES DANCING IN A ROCKET-POWERED FLOWERPOT!!! Darkstripe: Willowpelt! Look! Shiny coin! (throws coin in to the bush) Willowpelt: SHINYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! (runs in to bush) Darkstripe: (runs and cuts Willowpelt's rope) (Willowpelt's dummy falls) Big Brother: Darkstripe wins! That means he faces the Four Cases of Doom! Come with me, Darkstripe. (Darkstripe and Big Brother are over at the Four Cases of Doom) Big Brother: Okay, Darkstripe, you know how this works. one case contains a Best of Graystripe's Kitchen ''DVD, one case contains a free 12-month subscription to ''Better Dens and Territories ''magazine, one case contains a $1000 voucher fot ''Fashion Kitty Deluxe and the other contains a slip for INSTANT EVICTION! What case do you pick? Darkstripe: Um... Case Four? Big Brother: Open it, then. (Darkstripe opens the case) Darkstripe: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! GRAYSTRIPE'S KITCHEN DVD! YAY! Big Brother: Congratulations! (Cinderpelt is teasing Scarletpaw after the challenge) Cinderpelt: You came last! You came last! Sucked in! Scarletpaw: Well, you didn't finish so well either... Cinderpelt: But I finished higher than you, you British loser! Scarletpaw: OH, HELL NO! YOU DID NOT JUST INSULT THE BRITISH! Cinderpelt: I just did. Scarletpaw: (throws CInderpelt in to the pool) Cinderpelt: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Scarletpaw: Well, I think I need a cup of tea after all that! Cinderpelt: Uh-oh. Scarletpaw: WHO USED THE LAST TEABAG!? Cinderpelt: I did. Scarletpaw: YOU... YOU DELIBERATELY LEFT IT THERE! Cinderpelt: No I didn't. I genuinely forgot to refill it. Scarletpaw: LIAR! Cinderpelt: Scarletpaw, I'm not lying. Scarletpaw: (chases Cinderpelt) I WILL KILL YOU! I WILL KILL YOUR FAMILY! (punches Cinderpelt) Cinderpelt: (throws Scarletpaw against the wall) Scarletpaw: Ow! (bites Cinderpelt's injured leg) Cinderpelt: HOW DARE YOU! (hits Scarletpaw over the head with her laptop) Big Brother: STOP! (Cinderpelt and Scarletpaw freeze) Big Brother: I've had enough of you two! That's it, screw the eviction! You two are having a Final Showdown tomorrow! Winner goes to the finale week, loser gets evicted! (walks off) Cinderpelt: Darn! The one ''week I wasn't nominated! Scarletpaw: You're going down, Cinderpelt. I will beat you if it's the last thing I do! WEEK THIRTEEN, FINAL SHOWDOWN (Ft. Bramblestar) (Scarletpaw is jumping on everyone's beds) Scarletpaw: IT'S TODAY, GUYS! OMSC, IT'S TODAY! Darkstripe: What's today? Willowpelt: IS IT THE EVOLUTION OF THE SPIDER-FACED POTATO? Scarletpaw: What? No, today is the day where I kick Cinderpelt's butt and go in to Finale week! YAAAAAAAAAAY! Sorreltail: Oh, that. Jayfeather: Grumpeteh le grumpeh grumpeh grumpus grumpeteh grump! Scarletpaw: Yeah, Jayfeather, I want Cinderpelt to be eliminated too! Brightheart: (shoves Scarletpaw off the bed) Excuse me? It will be ''Cinderpelt who wins today! And you will be returning to your stupid Clan. This is Big Brother: Thunder''Clan, not Big Brother: It Doesn't Matter What Clan You Are, Just Apply And You'll Be On The Show! Cinderpelt: Go me! Go me! Go me! I made toast for everyone! Everyone but Scarletpaw: TOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAST! (dives at the plate) Scarletpaw: Yuck! I hate toast! Cinderpelt: I know, that's why I made it. Scarletpaw: I'll just go eat a scone. Willowpelt: TOAST FLAVOURED SCONES????? Scarletpaw: NO! Toast is ''disgusting! Cinderpelt: I'm gonna kick your butt, Scarletkit! Scarletpaw: I'M NOT A KIT, CINDER-IDIOT! Cinderpelt: It's Cinder''pelt'', you British loser! Everyone but Scarletpaw and Cinderpelt: Oooooooooooh! Scarletpaw: I may be british, but at least I have all my legs! Everyone but Scarletpaw and Cinderpelt: Oooooooooh! Cinderpelt: Well, at least I didn't spend $20 million on tea in the one transaction! Everyone but Scarletpaw and Cinderpelt: Ooooooooooooooooooooh! Cinderpelt: WIll you guys shut up? Everyone but Scarletpaw and Cinderpelt: Ooooooooooooooooh! Cinderpelt: SHUT UP! Everyone but Scarletpaw and Cinderpelt: Oooooooooooh! Cinderpelt: (hits them all with a chair) SHUT THE (bleep) UP! Everyone but Scarletpaw and Cinderpelt: Oooooooooooooooooooooh! Scarletpaw: SHUT THE (bleep) UP, YOU (bleep)wits, before I (bleep)ing (bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleeeeeeeeeeeep)! GOT IT? Everyone: (shocked silence) (crickets chirp) Scarletpaw: SHUT UP! (throws scone at crickets) (crickets stop chirping) Scarletpaw: There we go. Now, for the breakfast! Big Brother: Scarletpaw, Cinderpelt, the time has come. It's time for the FINAL SHOWDOWN! Scarletpaw: GO AWAY, YOU (bleep)! I'M EATING SCONES! Big Brother: Okay, geez! Come the heck down! (walks away) Sorreltail: Big Brother's an actual person? Wow. Stuff gets weirder every day now. (Jayfeather comes in, wearing a tutu and dancing) Jayfeather: I BELIEVE I CAN FLYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! (trips over) Cinderpelt: FAIL! Darkstripe: OWNED! Jayfeather: Grumpeeeeeeeh D: Sorreltail: Now that's weird. Anyone got any more weird stuff to do? Willowpelt: FACEBOOK IS A BOOK FOR FACES THAT PEOPLE READ FOR FACES!!! Sorreltail: Can we all stop being weird? Willowpelt: BANANA CHICKEN! Sorreltail: OMSC.... (Big Brother walks back in) Big Brother: Done yet? Scarletpaw: Not quite... (takes last bite) Okay, done. Big Brother: Now, everyone outside. (everyone goes outside) (outside) (there is a massive stage) Scarletpaw: Please tell me this isn't what I think it is... Big Brother: What do you think it is? Scarletpaw: A singing contest? Big Brother: Sort of, but not quite. Cinderpelt: (leans forward) What ever do you mean, Big Brother dearest? Big Brother: Sucking up to me doesn't win you any extra points. Cinderpelt: NUUUUUUUUUUU! Big Brother: In fact, it is not me who will be deciding, The HOUSEMATES decide! Everyone: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! Big Brother: Okay, let me explain the Final Showdown game: You are given a topic to write and perform a song about, but here is the catch: Your song must be THE MOST ANNOYING SONG IN THE WORLD! Everyone but Cinderpelt, Big Brother and Scarletpaw: Ooooooooooooooh! Scarletpaw: (glares) Everyone but Cinderpelt, Big Brother and Scarletpaw: (shuts up) Big Brother: Now, ladies, come over to this table. (Big Brother leads Scarletpaw and Cinderpelt to a table. The table has 6 cards on it, each numbered 1-6.) Big Brother: Now, ladies, in front of you are 6 cards, each numbered 1-6... Cinderpelt: No! Really? I thought there were four.... Big Brother: (rolls eyes) Anyway, on each card is a topic. This will be the topic you write your song about. Scarletpaw, you pick first. Cinderpelt: Why her? Big Brother: Because YOLO. Cinderpelt: (bleep) you. Scarletpaw: I pick card #6! Big Brother: (takes card 6) Your topic is... PARROTS! Scarletpaw: I have to write a song about parrots? For real? Big Brother: Yep. Your turn, Cinderpelt. Cinderpelt: Card 2, please. Big Brother: (takes card 2) Your topic is... SCONES! Scarletpaw: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! CAN WE SWAP!? Big Brother: No. Scarletpaw: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Big Brother: You have an hour to write your song. Be gone! (Scarletpaw and Cinderpelt run off to write their songs) (the camera flashes to Scarletpaw) Scarletpaw: (singing) Paroooooooooooot! Parrot, parrot parrooooooot! Big Brother: EVERYONE COME BACK OUT! I FORGOT SOMETHING! (everyone goes back out) Big Brother: You can take a cat with you to help! Cinderpelt: BRIGHTHEART! Big Brother: Scarletpaw. who do you pick? Scarletpaw: Hm... Darkstripe. Darkstripe: Me? Scarletpaw: No, the other Darkstripe. You know, the one sitting next to Willowpelt? OF COURSE YOU! Willowpelt: DARKSTRIPE, STRIPEDARK, BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Big Brother: Off you go, kitties! (the camera goes back to Scarletpaw) Scarletpaw: Okay, is this annoying? (sings) Paaaaaaaaaaarrot! Parroooooooooooooooooooooooooooot! Parrot, parrot, parrot! Darkstripe: That's not annoying, that's delightful! Scarletpaw: (sigh) I never knew that making an annoying song could be so hard! Rappers make it look so easy, Darkstripe: Now, rapping is annoying. Scarletpaw: Okay, rapping it is then! How's- Brightheart: Oooh! Rapping! I must tell Cinderpelt! (runs away) (the camera zooms to Cinderpelt) Brightheart: CINDERPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELT! Cinderpelt: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! OMSC YOU SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME! Brightheart: Sorry, but I know how you can beat Scarletpaw! CInderpelt: OMSC, HOW!? Brightheart: Rap! Cinderpelt: A rap about scones? Brightheart: YES! Cinderpelt: Hmmm.... Scone, scone, scone Dancing happy scones Scones are scones ''' '''SCONES! Brightheart: That isn't annoying, that's just incredibly stupid.... Cinderpelt: FAR OUT, THIS IS HARD! UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH! Brightheart: That was a weird noise Cinderpelt: Was it annoying? Brightheart: No, just werid. Cinderpelt: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! (camera goes back to Scarletpaw) Scarletpaw: Okay, Darkstripe, what do you find most annoying in songs? Darkstripe: Rapping and repetetiveness. Definitely. Scarletpaw: OMSC, YAY! Thanks! How about: PARROT! PARROT! PARROT! PARROT! Parrots like to fly, parrots fly so high... Darkstripe: That's annoying! Scarletpaw: YES! Darkstripe: But we need to be MORE annoying! Scarletpaw: More annoying? Hm... I've got it! IT'S A PARROT! IT'S A PARROT! IT'S A PARROT! ' '''IT'S A PARROT! ' '''It flies like a parrot, It talks like a-''' Darkstripe: Shut the (bleep) up! OMSC that's annoying! Scarletpaw: WOOOOOOOOOOO! It's a winner! (starts writing the song) Darkstripe: GO SCARLET! GO SCARLET! GO SCARLET! (camera zooms back to Cinderpelt) Cinderpelt: OMSC! Brightheart: What? Cinderpelt: I think I've got it! Brightheart: SHOW MEEEEEEEEEEEE! Cinderpelt: 'It's a happy little scone, it's a dancing little scone! ' '''Spread them with jam and cream! It's a tasty little scone, it's a yummy little scone! Brightheart: That's REALLY annoying! Cinderpelt: Great! (starts writing song) (5 minutes later) Cinderpelt: Okay, it's done! Big Brother: TIME UP! IT'S TIME FOR THE PERFORMANCE!!! (Scarletpaw and Cinderpelt are on stage. The rest of the housemates are watching) Big Brother: Okay, who wants to go first? Scarletpaw: Cinderpelt can. I don't- Cinderpelt: (koncks Scarletpaw out) ME! ME! MEEEEEEEE! Big Brother: Okay, here's Cinderpelt with the scone song! Cinderpelt: Do I get music? Big Brother: No music. This is a judgement of the SONG. Cinderpelt: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Big Brother: You gonna perform? Cinderpelt: Yep. (clears throat) It's a happy little scone! It's a dancing little scone! It's a yummy little scone! It's a tasty little scone! It's a scone! Scone! Scone! Scone! Scones are made of flour and other stuff I can't rember! Dunk them in your teaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Spread them with jam and creaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam! Sorreltail: OMSC that's REALLY ANNOYING! (breaks lamp) Big Brother: My lamp! D: Cinderpelt: EAT. IT. LIKE. A. HOT CROSS BUN! IT. TASTES. LIKE. A. SCONE! SCONE! SCONE! EAT THE SCONES! SCOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE! It's a happy little scone! It's a dancing little scone! It's a yummy little scone! It's a tasty little scone! It's a scone! Scone! Scone! Scone! And it's a scooooooooooone! A tasty scooooooooooooooone! It's! A! (incredibly annoying high pitched whistle noise- this goes for 30 seconds) Darkstripe: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! MY EARS! OMSC! Jayfeather: Grumpeteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh! Cinderpelt: SCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE! (end of song) Everyone: (claps) Big Brother: That was incredibly ''annoying. Especially that annoying whistle thing. UGH! Good luck beating that, Scarletpaw! (Scarletpaw doesn't move) Big Brother: Scarletpaw? Helloooooooooooooo? Cinderpelt: I knocked her out, remember? Big Brother: LEAFPOOL! The smelling salts? Leafpool: Well, I- Bramblestar: (kocks Leafpool out) NO! ME! I WANNA DELIVER THEM! Sorreltail: Leafpool! Nuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! Big Brother: Firstly, don't kill my medicine cat! Secondly, who the (bleep) are you? Leafpool: I'm not dead! Bramblestar: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! SHE'S ALIVE! (knocks out Leafpool again) Anyway, I'm Bramblestar! Cinderpelt: The ThunderCl- Darkstripe: NO! DON'T! I HAVEN'T READ TO THAT PART YET! Cinderpelt: Sorry. Bramblestar: I'm a different Bramblestar, and ''I will be delivering the smelling salts! (throws them at Scarletpaw) Scarletpaw: (wakes up) Wha'? What's going on? Bramblestar: I MUST FLEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (disappears in a puff of smoke) Big Brother: That was weird. Jayfeather: Grumpeteh grumpeteh grumpeh? Big Brother: Yes, Jayfeather, Leafpool will be fine. Now, it's Scarletpaw's turn in the annoying song contest! After her performance, you will vote for the cat that goes to finale week! (Scarletpaw climbs on to stage) Big Brother: What topic did I give you again? Scarletpaw: Parrots. Big Brother: Here's Scarletpaw with the parrot song! Scarletpaw: (clears throat) IT'S A PARROT! IT'S A PARROT! IT'S A PARROT! IT'S A PARROT! IT'S A PARROT! IT'S A PARROT! IT'S A PARROT! It walks like a parrot and it talks like a parrot, ''' '''It shrieks like a parrot, so it's a parrot! It dances like a parrot and it sings like a parrot, It parrots like a parrot, so it's a parrot! IT'S A PARROT! IT'S A PARROT! IT'S A PARROT! Darkstripe: SHUT UP! (throws toaster at Scarletpaw) Scarletpaw: (uses epic ninja skills to dodge toaster) IT'S A PARROT! IT'S A PARROT! IT'S A PARROT! IT'S A PARROT! What rhyyyyyyyymes with parrot? Tell me what rhyyyyyyyymes with parrot? Here's a list of words that rhyme with parrot! Barret, Carrot, Darrot, Farrot, Garret, Harrot, Larrot, Marrot, Narrot, Rarrot, Sarrot, Tarrot, Varrot, Warrot, Yarrot, Zarrot! SUPERDUPERMEGAFLYING CARROOOOOOOT! ''' '''Half of these words don't even exist, but they all rhyme with parrot! IT'S A PARROT! IT'S A PARROT! IT'S A PARROT! IT'S A PARROT! IT'S A PARROT! IT'S A PARROT! IT'S A PARROT! IT'S A PARROTY, CARROTY, SUPER DUPER PARROT! (END OF SONG) Willowpelt: PARROT CARROT FACE! Brightheart: How many times did she use parrot in that song? Cinderpelt: I'm not gonna count. Big Brother: That was... truly annoying! Darkstripe: OMSC IT'S IN MY HEAD! GET IT OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT! (jumps in pool) Sorreltail: (dies laughing) Big Brother: And now for the vote! Scarletpaw: Do we get to- Big Brother: Yes, you two get to vote. Go in to the Diary Room and cast your vote on some paper. Scarletpaw, go in first. (Scarletpaw walks in to the Diary Room) Scarletpaw: (is humming the parrot song) OMSC! WHY DID I CREATE SUCH AN ANNOYING SONG! (writes down vote on a piece of paper and places it in to box) Big Brother: Cinderpelt, your turn. Cinderpelt: Obviously I'm voting for me! (writes down vote and places it in to box) Big Brother: And Willowpelt? Willowpelt: CHOCOLATE FROGS! (writes down vote and puts it in box) Big Brother: Now for Sorreltail.... Sorreltail: (goes to write down vote) THIS PEN DOESN'T WORK! (tries again) Sorreltail: Stupid... Pen! (ink explodes all over face) Darkstripe: (sticks head in) OWNED! Sorreltail: (writes down vote) Big Brother: Darkstripe! Get your butt in here! Darkstripe: Who did Sorreltail vote for? Big Brother: Not saying. Darkstripe: But... But I need to know so I don't vote for the cat she did! D: Big Brother: Fine! (whispers) Darkstripe: (casts vote) Big Brother: Brightheart! Brightheart: Obviously voting for my sister. (casts vote) Big Brother: And Jayfeather! Jayfeather: Grumpeteh grump! ' Big Brother: Yeah, you're blind. I'll write down the vote for you. I'm assuming you'll vote for (bleep)? HEY! DON'T BLEEP ME IN MY OWN HOUSE, YOU (bleep)! Jayfeather: (nods) (Big Brother writes down the vote) (Big Brother comes out with the box of votes) Big Brother: Okay, how many cats are there? Seven? That means that Scarletpaw or Cinderpelt need 5 votes to win. Sorreltail: Don't you mean 4? Big Brother: DON'T CORRECT ME! Okay, the first vote goes to SCARLETPAW! Scarletpaw: YAY! Big Brother: Next vote... CINDERPELT! Cinderpelt: YUSH! Big Brother: Next vote... CINDERPELT! Cinderpelt: YAY! Big Brother: Next vote... SCARLETPAW! The votes are tied 2-2! Scarletpaw: YAY! Big Brother: Please don't. Next vote... CINDERPELT! Cinderpelt: YAY! Big Brother: SHUT UP! Next vote... SCARLETPAW! That's 3-3 with one vote left! (everyone waits nervously) Big Brother: And the winner of the final showdown, and the cat advancing to finale week is... SCARLETPAW! Scarletpaw: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! Cinderpelt: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Brightheart: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! MY SISTER! D: Big Brother: Cinderpelt, this means you have been evicted. Get out of the house. Cinderpelt: I will never leave! Big Brother: Oh, won't you now? Brokenstar? (Brokenstar walks up to them) Brokenstar: I has wabies! Cinderpelt: Okay! I'm leaving, I'm leaving! (Cinderpelt exits the house) Daisy: Please welcome evictee number eleven, CINDERPELT! (Cinderpelt walks on to stage) Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Cinderpelt: WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!? Crowd: BECAUSE WE HATE YOU! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Daisy: SHADDAP! (crowd is silent) Daisy: Cinderpelt, how was your time in the house? Cinderpelt: It was great! Until everyone started hating me, that is... Daisy: I don't hate you! (hugs) Cinderpelt: I'M NOT HATED! YAAAAAAAAAAY! Crowd: We still hate you! Cinderpelt: GO AWAY! YOU LIFE RUINERS! (runs off in to limo) Daisy: WAIIIIIIIIT! I NEED TO ASK YOU MORE QUESTIONS! Cinderpelt: Message them to me on Facebook! Daisy: NO! Come back here! Cinderpelt: Sorry, can't. Limo's driving off. Daisy: LIMO! STOP IT! (the limo stops) Daisy: Who's gonna win? Cinderpelt: That's it? Daisy: Yes, that's it. Cinderpelt: I want Brightheart to, but I think WIllowpelt will win. Daisy: Now you can leave! (the limo drives off) Daisy: Okay, public, we're down to the final six, which means you need to start voting for the WINNER! Lines will reset after every eviction, so make your votes count! Here are the numbers you need! Voice-over: If you want BRIGHTHEART to win, dial 1902 55 71 01! Or SMS BRIGHTHEART to 161 661! If you want DARKSTRIPE to win, dial 1902 55 71 04! Or SMS DARKSTRIPE to 161 661! If you want JAYFEATHER to win, dial 1902 55 71 08! Or SMS JAYFEATHER to 161 661! If you want SCARLETPAW to win, dial 1902 55 71 15! Or SMS SCARLETPAW to 161 661! If you want SORRELTAIL to win, dial 1902 55 71 12! Or SMS SORRELTAIL to 161 661! If you want WILLOWPELT to win, dial 1902 55 71 14! Or SMS WILLOWPELT to 161 661! Daisy: Well, those are the voting numbers! Get voting, and I'll see you next week! This is it, we're down to FINALE WEEK! 6 are left, 5 will go... 1 will win. Who will it be? Who will fall victim to the only double eviction of the Season? Who will make the finale? What will happen in the last Daily Show EVER? Find out all this and MORE in Big Brother: ThunderClan Season 2/Finale Week! . Category:Tanglefrost101's Fanfics Category:Big Brother Category:Spoof Category:WFW 1 Category:Comedy